So you are tired of the dating game? Tired of failed relationship after failed relationship, swearing off ever getting married or ever finding that someone who your heart longs for? Are you convinced that your Knight in Shining armor or your Princess somehow lost his/her way to you and is somewhere in the desert or in the middle of the jungle? For sure, that is a discouraging place to be in. Loneliness is a horrible prison to be in. Here are some tips that may help you find the right person and STAY with the right person.
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While this may seem like something that you already have done, with no results, or you think it sounds cliché’ and won’t help, it is the MOST important thing that you can do for your love life and your life in general. Friends, there is no mess that is too big for God to clean up. You CANNOT mess up your life to the point that HE can’t clean it up. He is all-knowing and all-powerful and he LOVES his children. Just as we want our children to make good choices and be happy, so does he. That being said, HIS order and way of doing things is the best way. It is usually NOT the easy way, but it is always the BEST way.
Praying for the Love of Your Life
So how do you pray for your love life? Is it “Lord, send me the love of my life NOW!!!” That was my prayer for the longest time. It didn’t work, or rather, it did not work in my time. I was not ready yet to meet him. I still had life experiences that I needed and things that I needed to go through in order to make me grow as a person. Ask the Lord to show you the right person and to guide you in the right way and for the wisdom to know the difference between the right person and the one that looks awfully good in the short term.
Psalms 40:1 says “I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.“ That “patiently” part
was is always the kicker for me. That makes it so hard! Mr. or Mrs. Right is worth the wait, though. Think about it, you are waiting for the person who will fill your heart with love, the person that will make you laugh when you want to cry.; the person that will stand beside you and stay with you, support you, and be your best friend forever. You are waiting for the once-in-a-lifetime fairy-tale kind of love. Sometimes that requires some patience. Mr. or Mrs. Right is worth the wait.
I have told my husband that if I waited my whole life for one day of the love that we share, I could die happy. How blessed I am that instead of 1 day, I measure our time in years. Remember that’s what you are waiting for. He or she is out there.
If your patience needs a bit of help, check out my free course, Questing for Patience!
2.) Keep Looking, but look for a friend
While this one may seem like common sense, it is very easy to get so discouraged that you stop looking for that special someone entirely! Be open to the possibility of romance, but first look for someone whose company you enjoy. Look for a friend. Look for someone that you can talk to, that makes you happy just by being around, that understands you, someone, that makes you smile and laugh. You are, after all, ultimately looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, right? You need to be able to be around them for long periods of time. If you find them kinda cute, that does not hurt either.
3.) Go Out and About
If all you do is go to work, run your errands and spend all your evenings and weekends at home, it is going to be very hard to meet anyone, let alone Mr. or Mrs. Right. Find something that gets you out of the house and that you enjoy doing! Go to football games, if that’s what you’re interested in. Go to church, the gym, join an exercise class, chess club, volunteer, something that you enjoy doing! Even if you do not meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, you will be happier living your own life. Happiness and confidence are very attractive no matter what your body looks like.
If you are struggling to be happy and content with your life, work on yourself first. If you need help, check out the Questing for Contentment Course.
4.) Take Care of Yourself
Pay attention to your health, your physical appearance, and your living environment. I realize that everything will not be perfect every day. The mower breaks and the grass grows long, the house gets messy, and there are some weekends that just scream stay home and stay in sweatpants and watch movies. However, if you take care of yourself and your living environment, you will be more at peace, and you will be happier. I have been told that the prettiest makeup that any girl can wear is a smile. I think that a smile looks quite attractive on men too. If you take good care of yourself, it screams “I can take care of myself; I can also take care of you. You can depend on me.”
5.) Evaluate your Priorities
Have a list of what are the MOST important things that you are looking for in a spouse, even if that list is a mental one. What are your religious beliefs? How important are they to you? Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Marriage is meant to be for life. That cord needs to be strong to withstand everything that the devil is going to throw at you in this life. Make it a 3-fold cord. God needs to be a priority in every marriage. You also need to have the same moral values. When these two things align, it makes everything else easier.
Consider your views on parenthood. Do you want someone that stays home while you work and tends to the house? Would you prefer to stay home and take care of the house and kids? Do you want to balance dual careers?
How important is honesty to you? Are you wanting someone that always makes you laugh? Someone that you can talk to? Do they have to share the same interests as you? Have a general idea of what you are looking for. I will say that communication is EXTREMELY important in marriage. Active listening helps a great deal. Balance out your list with a bit of “wiggle room.” There is no such thing as a perfect person, but knowing which things are the MOST important to you and that you are not willing to compromise on can be a great help in evaluating whether you want to spend your entire life with someone or not.
Be Patient and Wait for God’s Timing for Mr. or Mrs. Right
If you are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, then don’t be discouraged! He or she is out there somewhere and they are waiting for you! Often times we have to go through some heartbreak in order to find them, but God will use that to help you grow into the person that you need to be for them. There are some things that you can do while you wait. The first thing is to pray. “Jesus heals the broken-hearted, oh how sweet that sound to me!” are the words of an old hymn, but they ring just as true today as when the author wrote them. Have patience. Mr. or Mrs. Right may not be ready for YOU yet. You will meet him or her in God’s time.
The Last Thing You Need to Know About Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right
Keep looking, but look for a friend. Your future spouse is someone that you will be spending the rest of your life with, so you need to be able to enjoy their company. Look for the person that you can’t get enough of being around just because they are themselves. Go out and about. You will never meet anyone if all you do is go to work and stay home! Find something that you enjoy and then start pursuing that hobby. This will make you happier and more confident, which is one of the most attractive qualities on anyone! Take care of yourself. You are important! If you do not value yourself, how can you expect others to?
Evaluate your priorities. Know what things are most important to you when searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right. In my opinion, having the same moral values is imperative to building a strong foundation on which to base a life-long marriage. Shared religious beliefs are just as important. You may both vary on specifics, but believing in God makes for a much stronger marriage.
Above all, don’t give up hope! You are worth it. You are enough. Find contentment with yourself first, then everything else will follow.
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