My Dear Husband and One True Love,
You do so much for our family. I wanted to write you a letter of appreciation and let you know that it’s the little things that matter so much. Those things that you don’t know if I notice? I do. Sometimes I don’t even know if you realize all the little things that you do that matter to me and make a big difference for our family and for our marriage.
I Know that Your Heart is Always With Me – Even When You are Not
Even as I write this, you just texted me to ask me how my day was going. You are at work, doing important things, and I am on day 3 at home with a sick kid. Most people would not consider what I am doing very important, but you do. I know that you have to be at work during the day. But those texts I get from you every morning to ask how my day is going and telling me that you love me always uplifts me. I know I don’t always answer back quickly, or sometimes at all (Sorry!) but they always make me smile. It’s the little things that matter. Things like letting me know that your heart is always with me on a daily basis.
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It’s the Little Things that Matter – Like Supporting My Dreams and Ambitions
We are two small people in the world, you and I. Yet we have always had an attitude of “It’s me and you together, no matter what life throws at us. ” As we have gone through different stages of our lives, my dreams and ambitions have changed. You have supported every single one. I’m not even sure that you are aware that you do this.
Little things that matter often get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. They are not always easy to see. But when I take a step back and think about it – that’s when I both see and appreciate it. I had a career when we were first married that I loved and was good at. That’s what I remember because you supported me through the struggle of trying to figure it all out.
It wasn’t a big declaration -it’s little things that mattered like us doing laundry and the house cleaning together on the weekends. It also included laughing about having to spend 10 minutes each morning digging through a laundry basket of unfolded clean clothes in an epic search for socks, and smiling as we had corn dogs or fish sticks for dinner.
It’s the Little Things that Matter – Like Supporting me as I Turned Stay at Home Mom
Later when we welcomed our first child, you whole-heartedly supported me as I quit my career and turned stay-at-home-Mom. It’s something that the world may not see as very valuable, but you did. You never made me feel bad about no longer bringing in any income. When I got down about it, you always told me “You DO work and it’s OUR money. Everything is ours together.”
I sometimes got lost in the daily grind, wondering what my purpose was in life beyond caring for this tiny precious child that God entrusted us with. The tiny precious children that grew into toddlers who got into everything. And then there was potty training. Oh. my. I think I would rather teach a Physics class again than potty train another little boy. It was frustrating.
We have such a sense of self-identity wrapped up in our jobs. When I turned stay-at-home mom, I felt like I had lost that part of me. I missed all the people and adult interaction. Yet, the way that you saw me never changed. It’s the little things that matter – like still telling me that I was amazing, even on the days that I lost my temper and didn’t feel amazing.
Looking back, there were hard days when the kids were little, but I’m so glad that I stayed home with them. The good days far outweighed the bad. I couldn’t have done that without you. By the way – you are an amazing Dad. I love seeing you with the kids.
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You See Value in What I Do
One fancy date night when we were all dressed up sitting at a table with a white table cloth and candles, you told me I needed to start telling people that I was a writer when they asked what I did. It’s funny that I have written two books, published an online course, and do some freelance work for a local magazine and still hesitate to label myself as a writer. You didn’t because you see value in what I do.
When you sold your little fishing boat, you bought me a laptop so that I could more easily take my work with me. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. Buying me a laptop was a big thing. But it was just one gesture in a series that make me see it’s the little things that matter.
I also remember sitting at a restaurant with you right before I finished my first book. I fidgeted and squirmed because I had just revealed to my best friend that I had been writing it and I was scared to death of what was to come. Fear of failure prevailed in my mind. I was worried about investing in something that was not a guaranteed success. You looked at me and said with absolute conviction in your eyes “You supported me as we invested in my dreams. We will do the same for yours. Your hopes and your dreams are worth pursuing and investing in.”
For that moment in the middle of a crowded Chinese restaurant, everyone else faded away. I lost myself in your intense blue eyes that conveyed strength, overwhelming belief and faith in me, and most of all love.
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It’s the Little Things that Matter Like Talking Good About Me to Your Friends
I know that many people complain about their spouses at work or with their friends. When I meet your friends, they seem to know a lot about me. They are not guarded, their attitude is usually, “So, you’re the one we’ve heard so much about! (In a good way.)” I know you’ve been talking good about me behind my back. It’s little things that matter like that.
In truth, I don’t see your friends often. It would be really easy for you to complain and I might not ever know. Many of the complaints might be small, but it would still affect their attitudes. I love it when you come home and tell me that you have been bragging on me. I don’t worry about things like you telling everyone how awful I am because I ran out of quick grab and go breakfast stuff this morning and you went to work without.
It fills my heart with joy to know that lifting me up to your friends makes you happy. Thank you for always lifting me up. It’s little things that matter like that. I love how we lean on each other and lift one another up.
You are Never too Busy or too Tired to Listen
You are often tired when you get home from work, mentally and emotionally. Yet, you are never too busy or too tired to listen to me. If I’m home all day by myself or with a sick kid, I’m usually in desperate need of some adult conversation. When I see you or talk to you, it just comes tumbling out. My cascade of words about my day and all my thoughts that I’ve kept to myself during the day wash over your already tired mind. Yet you listen and soak them in anyway.
Especially if I am upset about something, you always make time for me. I know that I can’t talk to you all the time when you are at work, but I know you will make time for me as soon as you can. I also know that until then, you are thinking of me.
It’s the Little Things That Matter Like – Always Making Me a Priority
Do you remember when I was close to your workplace and thought about having lunch with you, but knew that you already had lunch plans with some co-workers? I texted you anyway, and you gladly responded with “Yes! Come join us! I want you there!” It’s the little things that matter – like always making me a priority. I knew I was the most important person there in your eyes and that you were genuinely proud to have me at your side.
You Always Choose Me
I already shared one whole letter about thank you for always choosing me. You do choose me – every day, no matter what. You choose to always see the best in me. When I wrote that post, I had been struggling with bronchitis for a month and was very grouchy. You took up a lot of slack for me, even when I felt as loveable as a porcupine. Yet you still chose me and chose me joyfully.
You Surprise Me For No Reason
I love surprises for no reason! They are not usually big surprises, but it’s the little things that matter. I love waking up and seeing that you brought me bagels with cream cheese for breakfast. I love being greeted with flowers when you come home from work on an ordinary Thursday. (Even that one time when you put the vase on the top of your car, but when you bent down to get something else out, the vase tipped and spilled water all down your back.)
When you stop by our favorite sushi restaurant on your way home (on the day they have it 30% off!) it makes me feel incredibly loved.
Those “at home dates” are some of my favorites, whether we dress up and eat off the good dishes in candlelight or off paper plates with me in yoga pants and no makeup. Even when you pick up a candy bar for me at the gas station (because you know I’m a sucker for chocolate), it tells me that you thought about me and went out of your way to do a little something for me. It’s the little things that matter and you are SO good at it.
Related: How to Find Gifts to Remember for Valentine’s Day and Any Other Occasion
You Convey “We Are In This Together” Every Day
It’s the little things that matter, like you conveying with your everyday actions and words that we are in this life together. We are a strong partnership and we love and support one another. That means forgiving one another for mistakes, and not bringing up mistakes from years past. It also means that we pick each other’s pieces up, like you coming home and cooking dinner for me when I have a cold or like me printing out flyers for community center events and posting them around town for you on occasion. It’s not my problems and your problems, its ours. We often deal with different aspects, but we support one another – always.
It’s the Little Things That Matter – Like Letting Me know that You are Always in my Corner
You are usually pretty easy going, but I know that the thing that makes you maddest the fastest is if someone messes with me. I know that you will always be my champion. You are the one that always has my back, sometimes even when I’m wrong. But you will publicly back me up and defend me. Even if you will tell me privately that I’m off track. I appreciate that too. I know that you will not let me mess up too badly and will pull me back when I need it. Even then, I know that you are in my corner and always will be.
It’s the Little Things that Matter – Like Telling Me How You Feel
For many men, talking about feelings is a bit uncomfortable. But you know that I need that connection, so you do it anyway. Sometimes you also tell me the things that I need to hear but that I don’t want to. I don’t always react well at the time, either, but you are always quick to forgive me. You also tell me what you need like “Stop trying to solve my problem. Just listen.” I think our ability to communicate is one of the major strengths of our marriage.
You Know All My Flaws, but Still Think I’m Amazing
I’m a flawed person. Everyone is. The difference with you is that you know all of mine and you still think I’m amazing. You are convinced that my strengths far out-weigh my weaknesses, even when I’m being difficult and when I would have given up on me a long time ago. You don’t and I know that you never will. I know that you will always see the best in me, even when I’m not at my best. I wish sometimes that I could look at myself the way that you see me. In your eyes, I possess potential that I’m not even aware of. You see the best version of me and continue to encourage me to strive to be better.
You always have been, and always shall be, the wind beneath my wings.
With Love Stronger Than I Can Describe,
Your Wife
References: Psychology Today: Does Gratitude Matter In Marriage?
HuffPost: The Importance of Appreciation in a Relationship
Lifehack: 6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate
This is so sweet! Having a husband that is supportive, loving and kind is amazing, and we as wives take that for granted sometimes. Its nice to take a step back and REALLY appreciate ALL that they do. I bet your husband LOVED reading this. And just in time for Valentines day ❤
Great points, Katie! He did enjoy reading it. Hope you and your husband have a fantastic Valentines Day!
Aww, so sweet. Having a kind, loving, patient, supportive husband is such a blessing. It is so easy to take our good guys for granted. Wonderful post. I really loved all your pictures too. ?
Thanks, April!
This is so lovely and beautiful, I bet it made hubs feel very special to read it. Sometimes you just need someone to acknowledge you and be vulnerable with you and accept you for everything you are and will grow to be. This is such a sweet profession of love. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Beth. He did like it and was touched. Writing it helped me to remember all the little things that he does that I usually take for granted. Writing a letter like this is a great exercise in gratitude. I’m glad you enjoyed it.